I wrote this a year ago! haha Think I need to start publishing what I write - for anyone who is worried about my negatively twisted analogies and sarcasm, I am fine and the medication kicks in within 30 minutes.
I have always found it easy to write something meaningful when I’m sat waiting to board a plane. (I’m not a frequent flyer, so you can imagine how productive other aspects of my life are). I’m sat waiting to board flight VS045 to New York. God it feels good to write that.
This time last year I was living in New York (‘I was living’ is probably the most important part of that sentence). It was the best 4 months of my life and I miss it dearly. Fast forward a year and I have graduated, moved back home, successfully managed to do nothing with my degree (that holds a price tag of approximately £40,000) and the best view I have every day is not that of the Empire State Building or broadway snaking off into the horizon, no my friend, it is a collection of borderline funny photos I have meticulously pinned up on my work cubicle wall. One example could be a picture of Lionel Richie with the caption “Hello? Is it me your looking for?” Followed by a made up telephone number. On multiple occasions I have attempted to ring this number, perhaps I’m hoping ‘Inspiration’ will pick up? It’s moments like that that brighten up ones soul destroying day.
I don’t know how many of you have worked in an office but it can be comic inspiration for someone who arrives into this close-knit family as an outsider. It’s a shame Ricky Gervais got there first because it is spot on. To the point that when I give a specific ‘funny office moment’ some recognition by declaring “GUYS THIS IS JUST LIKE THE OFFICE”, I receive blank looks. They will tell you they love the office but fail to see how it relates to their everyday life. But that’s just it isn’t it? It is their everyday life. Oh great, I guess it is my everyday life too - even if I am just a temp* and have been freshly unwrapped from the factory that is university. What’s that sound? It’s the sound of creativity dying.
I wonder how many other people have studied for a degree and ended up not only in a job they didn’t study for, but would have been immediately better off if they worked their way up and didn’t attend university… I realise at some point the career ladder will hit a glass roof where those with a degree swear at you as they go passed, but by that time you could study separately in your own time for a fraction of the price. I don’t know. I am just in a funny place where I question my decisions to this point and it has been a very long summer of listening to the ‘Graduation Blues‘ by ‘The Graduates’ on Spotify.
As far as I can remember, no university workshop mentioned “Michael, one more thing before we take your card payment… Um… If you read the terms and conditions, you’ll find that by the time you graduate, we have scheduled another dip in this roller coaster ride called “Recession” and you’ll struggle to find a job. Anyway! If you could check the amount on the screen… £40,000… and enter your pin please whilst I casually look out the window of this office so you know I’m not copying your pin… Oh, nope no window… I’ll just stare at the wall then.
Did I mention I went to your university? Yeah, I know. Now I’m staring at a wall.”
My seat number has been called now - I will leave you with the thought that perhaps I am escaping to a better time in my life rather than moving forward. How many people would like to stay a student forever? Probably everyone who had a good experience. I say the next student protests that appear on the news is when all the graduates join in and protests for ‘immediate pensions’. I declare that upon graduation we are all handed a pension so we can continue to live on government handouts with no responsibility. What do you say?! Who’s with me?!
* Temporary Worker- a derogatory term used in the workplace to describe a member of staff who does an equal amount or possibly more work than a permanent member of staff, yet it is perfectly acceptable to exclude them from conversations and work gatherings and demoralise their newly found confidence in given role by talking to another permanent member of staff about them and dropping the phrase “just a temp”.
The Royal baby has arrived! See the scene in full 360 degrees as they leave the hospital for the first time with their new son.
CRAZY WALL OF PEOPLE TO FACE WITH A NEW BORN. What the lens doesn’t see…
Hello Instagram Video
hey. this is really important.
This is before an event becomes a miscarriage of justice. This is an even bigger problem than the court of law.
Share is all I can do - get the information out there
Great tips, shit looking blog
SNL writer Michael Patrick O’Brien’s advice for aspiring comedy writers and performers (via call-me-clayz)
Oh man. This is gospel. Great reminder.
‘I want to be working with friends and producing interesting comedy for a living some time soon,’
Love slow mo, love long takes, love this music video. Very inspiring
Watching an Eagles documentary and this song - with the newly discovered archive footage - has made me want to be in California in the 1970s. Amazing.
Because of Frank Ocean’s use of the song, I’ve also felt quite sentimental too - I listen to this all the time in New York in 2011 and I’ve figured out a lot in my head tonight because of this.
New York in 1939 - HD and Colour - Amazing!
Haha, what’s the ‘Real World’ anyway?
My life for the previous year explained via the creative medium of comics. haha so accurate